Are You Worthy?
Yesterday I went to the movies, which is not an unusual thing for a lot of people, the evening shows are often full, after the working day is done. I went at 10.30am in the morning. It is not that I am unemployed, or retired, or a new mum, it is because I choose when and how long I work. It has not always been this way. When I first started my business I felt guilty every time I stepped away from my desk, when I took time to relax, when I allowed myself to live first and let business be a part of that, not my all. It is still hard for my husband to accept that my business will grow regardless of whether I spend 12 hours a day at my desk, or if I just do the next necessary steps each day and then I am free to choose.
The guilt and busyness of many people boils down to fear. There are 3 fears common to everyone; am I enough, will I be loved, will I belong. I believe that underneath at the very base of every person’s experience is the thought, am I worthy. Worthy of being loved, worthy of belonging, worthy of success.
How a person feels about their worth is not immediately recognisable. We can tell if a person lacks self-esteem, as it is seen in how they hold themselves, what they say about themselves and how they interact with others. It is possible to have a high self-esteem and still struggle with self-worth. We tend to develop our self-esteem in knowing we can do certain things, we become competent in our jobs and move on to excelling. As we do things that are seen as worthwhile and successful our self-esteem can grow. Our sense of self-worth is knowing that we are valuable regardless of what we do, whether we are successful or not in other peoples eyes. Are we worthy of being alive and loved, being part of the community just because we are human. Will I be loved just because I am.
For anyone who grew up in a family where love was not unconditional, feeling worthy can be a real struggle. If you had to please your parents to feel love, get good grades, be a good girl/boy, live up to your parents expectations then knowing that you are worthy of being loved, of belonging, regardless of what you do, or who you choose to be is not something you know at the deepest core of your being. Even when you are achieving high levels of outward success you can feel that you are never doing enough. You want to be perfect so that you will be loved, or you choose to act out hoping that someone will show you love regardless.
Self-worth is an internal thing. It is allowing yourself to love yourself unconditionally. To know that being yourself, unique and alive, is worth something. When we love ourselves we want the best for ourselves. Our focus turns from what others may think, to how may I best show up in the world for me. A person with high self-worth does not attack other people, they do not blame others for what is happening in their lives, they do not put themselves down for not being perfect. They are able to love and share with others knowing that they are enough and loved within themselves. They are able to live life fully knowing that they are capable and resourceful enough to fulfil all their needs, from the basics of a roof over their head and food to eat, to finding ways of expressing themselves creatively, to bringing more value to the world as an outpouring of who they are.
Are you worthy?
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