When Change Feels Like You Might Have To Destroy Everything!

Destroy to Rebuild
May 18, 2018 Thoughts

I love home renovation shows.  Seeing the change from old, worn, dysfunctional space to a brighter, better space.  Changing a life can be like a home renovation.  Sometimes you have to pull down and destroy what is old, worn and dysfunctional so you are able to create anew.

The Past

Ten years ago my house was crumbling.  The foundations were rotten.  They could no longer support the house at all and it seemed easier to bulldoze it. (suicide)   So I rebuilt the foundations.  I restored them through forgiveness, gratitude and accepting.  I learnt what was required to make the house stable.  Restoring the foundations allowed me to brighten the façade and even to make some cosmetic improvements to the inside.

The internal layout of the house though was still the same.  Too small, dysfunctional and not built for purpose.  It took me a while to realise I was still trying to work wonders with a dysfunctional space.  I shifted things around a bit, bought some new furniture and tried to brighten it up with a lick of paint and some window dressing but nothing was functioning correctly.  A major renovation was in order.

The Present

Sometimes you have to destroy what was to create what will be.  I moved interstate, separated from my husband, stopped coaching and went backwards financially.  All the old supports, walls and floor of my house have been removed.  The foundations are solid and I still have my protective roof (a belief in a higher purpose).  Everything else is gone.

The Future

The footprint of the house needs to enlarged.  Staying small is no longer serving me or anyone else.  A few new rooms need to incorporated.  A large studio space to let my creativity soar.  An entertainment space to encourage new social gatherings.  A quiet room for meditating, reading and reflecting.  An office space to allow for building my business as I move forward and a man cave.  Whether it is my husband and I getting back together or someone down the track, they need their own space as well so they are not 24/7 in mine.

While the interior of the house was being pulled down I did not feel like I could write, share or help anyone.  My own life looked and felt like a shambles.  The big difference I feel between what I am going through and what many others go through is that I am doing mine on purpose. It is not just letting the house fall into disrepair or ruin. It is not trying to squeeze in a new way of being into a small dysfunctional space.  I am destroying the old to make way for bigger, better and brighter.

Things are on the up.  The destruction phase has happened and the re-build is underway.

Love and Light

Maryanne