My Most Damaging Limiting Belief Finally Reveals Itself.
Every book, article and blog post I have read in the self-development and business growth arena all talk about the need to get rid of limiting beliefs. I have implemented so many strategies and done all I could and yet my results were still not great. The other day I realised that some of our limiting beliefs can be so much a part of us that we do not even recognise them as limiting beliefs. It is not like they jump up and down saying here I am, here I am. This limiting belief now seems so obvious and patently ridiculous that I feel a little foolish for even admitting that I had it. It all stems around “Is the world fair or unfair.” I was reading an article about 7 things successful people never say and one of the things on the list was “It isn’t fair.” This triggered a line of thought that led me to my limiting belief.
Is life fair or unfair? What does fair even mean? The dictionary definition was a bit obscure but the sense of it was “even” – level, flat and smooth. I think we all have an innate sense of fairness. We don’t mind the variations as long as they are not too out of wack. It is like the fine balance required to keep the body in fair working order. It is the extremes that can be the problem. Life may seem ‘unfair’ if we feel that we are heading to an extreme of bad stuff. We don’t seem to complain if the extreme is going the other way. Noticing the extremes has a lot to do with proximity. The unfairness of apartheid was very apparent because of the close proximity between disadvantaged blacks and the seeming wealth and rights of the whites. In poorer African countries everybody seems to suffer more or less equally, which is why they possibly do not consider the ‘fairness’ of their situation.
We are able to learn from nature, even our own bodies, that there is a balance. There is a fully functioning, optimal, balanced place, which we innately know. All of life will allow the pendulum to swing only so far before the need to go back to balance is required. Fair then is a relative term. Maybe life is very fair, it is our beliefs that create the unbalance, the extremes. If you believe that life is unfair then you will create a life that mirrors the belief. Why believe you are capable of being, doing and having all that you desire if ‘life is unfair’ so therefore you may not get it.
I was very young when my belief about the unfairness of life started. It also didn’t start from a difficult or traumatic situation which is possibly why it took so long to surface. We used to visit a friend of the family every Sunday Evening for tea. There was a large group of children so the way they worked out who would be wiping up was to do ’round and round the garden.’ The first person to laugh got to wipe up. I was the most ticklish of the whole group. They didn’t even have to touch my palm before I started laughing, so I wiped up every time. I was only about 5 but I know I thought it was unfair. Hence a belief started to form. Over time and with evidence it grew to not only was life unfair but that I would always draw the short straw. So at the very core of my being, a subconscious belief has been playing itself out over and over again, so that it didn’t matter what I did I would not succeed.
Now the light has been shone on to the belief, and I have changed it, life is fair-the pendulum will swing, bad things will happen but so will the good, be aware and don’t fear it. Let balance in all things be the best guide for life.
Love and Light