How Love Really Is the Answer to Everything!
For 50 something years of my life I never felt loved. I didn’t really understand it. When I realised I didn’t love myself, and didn’t actually think I was loveable was an incredibly emotional day. Because I was incapable of loving myself, I therefore put an immense burden on those around me to prove I was. It was a losing battle for them.
I was brought up in a strict religious household which probably didn’t help. Self-love, vanity and pride were all sins to be avoided. We were meant to empty ourselves of all sense of self, and to take on the persona of Christ. It was never good enough to be yourself. Basically a recipe for confusion, self-loathing and zero self-esteem.
How to Tell if You Don’t Love Yourself
Everything that is wrong in your life is someone else’s fault.
Feeling you are never good enough.
Not trusting yourself.
Feeling like you are on a treadmill because a happy, fulfilling life is just a pipe dream.
What Loving Yourself Means
When you learn to love yourself a few things change.
Blame is no longer an option.
‘No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.’ Eleanor Roosevelt
Loving yourself holds a lot of responsibility. You understand you are responsible for your own happiness, your health and how you want to lead your life. What is external to you, other people, politics and even your economic well-being are not responsible for how you feel about yourself.
Loving yourself means understanding you are worthy. For instance, you are worthy of life, worthy of happiness and worthy of having a dream. A lack of self-worth means you believe others have a right to say how you “should” live your life. Because who are you to believe you can be, do or have anything you desire. For example, when I used to go to church we said a prayer “I am not worthy to gather up the crumbs under your table”. No wonder I had no self-worth, I was declaring regularly that I had none.
We can only attract that which we give out. If you are constantly bemoaning how miserable your life is, you cannot be surrounded by happiness. You cannot attract a good job, reasonable income and some of the luxuries of life if you don’t believe you are worthy of such things. If you are unable to love yourself,you cannot attract and keep a loving partner, because they will never make you feel loved. So you will eventually push them away or leave yourself believing the fault is theirs.
What Is Possible?
I would love to say my life turned around the moment I recognised I could and did love myself, that I am loveable. It took time to get rid of a lot of garbage thoughts and patterns of being. Things have changed though. Changing my thoughts changed my brain chemistry so I no longer have depression. I studied to become a life coach and I love teaching what I have learnt both from the coaching and my own life. Place became important, so I live on my bush block, and I have certainly rediscovered my passion and ability to be a creative artist. Every day is a blessing and a new adventure. None of this would have been possible if I had not learnt to love myself. To love who I am, what I am passionate about and to trust myself to make good decisions for myself.
If you would like to learn more about the process I used to change then please go here
Love and Light